I know, I know...

I know, I know. I said I would be a better blogger in 2011. Well, it seems I lied. I had good intentions...don't we always!? But life is just manic these days.

Today this sweet little guy turns 7:

And a couple of weeks ago this gorgeous little man turned 9:

In between these two, the Husbeast had a birthday, making for a very busy month indeed!

I am now permanently contracted to my full time job and am loving it. It makes for an incredibly busy life: juggling work, family, scrapbooking committments, fitness, a scant social life, kid's activities, housework etc! I often feel like I'm chasing my tail, but we are settling into a smoother routine lately, and I am getting on top of things again.

I have missed scrapbooking desperately! I manage to (mostly) do what I need to do for classes, but not much else. But I have actually scrapped a few layouts just for fun recently and it felt very good. The real crux of the problem is not having many photos to scrap! If I don't have time to take photos, there is nothing to scrap!So I am taking time to get my camera out more often, like I used to, and documenting our every day again. I have missed it!

Speaking of Scrapbooking...I am thrilled and honoured to be teaching classes and hosting Scrapbooking Memories Magazine Studio Talks at the upcoming Scrapbooking and Papercraft Expo and Convention in June! I am so excited at the prospect of teaching classes at this amazing expo. It is always a fantastic weekend of gorgeous Scrapbooking goodies, inspiring displays, awesome classes and a great big social catch-up with my scrapping buddies. I can't wait! Bookings will open very soon, so be sure to secure your spot in a class or 2 :)


My camera is not being friendly with my computer at the moment so I only have iPhone images to share. Hopefully I can get them to behave and can share some layouts soon!

"We've been waiting for you"...

...is the very first thing I said to my newborn nephew when I held him yesterday. Cooper Owen was born to my sister Tracey and her husband Kevin yesterday at 11.15am. He is adorable...delicate, sweet, handsome and very, very loved :)

Cooper weighed 7 lb 8 oz, a featherweight effort compared to his big brother Lachlan who weighed in at 10 lb 11 1/2 ounces! Yikes!

Lachlan was quite fascinated to think that 'Bubby' was now on the outside of Mummy's belly :)Quite a concept for a 2 year old!

Mmmmm Breastaurant! This kid has it all worked out already ;)

Bestill my throbbing uterus (my husband loves that term!). Sweet, smooshed up newborn faces just do me in :)

Little baby feet, all wrinkled, peeling and not yet washed. Amazing!

And me. So beside myself happpy to meet my new nephew. One week overdue and so very wanted and waited for.

Isn't he amazing? :)

Friday Funny :)

Today I am sharing a hilarious article sent to me by my friend Lisa...(there's your shout out my Maxical loving friend!)
It is brilliantly written and fall off your chair funny...hope it cheers up your Friday as it did mine :)

____________________________________________________

ABOUT THE WRITER:



Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.


Colonoscopy Journal:
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.


A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Jefferson, Ohio .


Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.


I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.

 I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.


Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.


Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon..



The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.'



This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.



MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.


After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.


The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

 At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

 Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.


At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.



When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere... I was seriously nervous at this point.


Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.



There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was "Dancing Queen" by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, "Dancing Queen" had to be the least appropriate.



'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.



'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.



I have no idea. Really.. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that IT was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.




On the subject of Colonoscopies...


Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:


1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'


2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'




3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'




4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'




5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'



6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'




7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'




8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'




9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'




10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'




11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'




And the best one of all:




13.. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

Remember Bradley?

If you've been reading my blog for a while you may remember my letter to Bradley (text pasted below). Bradley is a check-out operator at my local Woolworths...bless his heart! His questionable hygiene practices lead me to writing him an open letter which I published here but never actually sent.

As it happened, I never saw young Bradley again...until yesterday! He's back...serving the public! I wonder where he's been?...The Fresh Food People's School of Food Handling I hope. I dodged his near empty queue to join a much longer one as I just couldn't bring myself to put my fresh produce in his hands.

Maybe I'm being too judgemental...basing my opinion of Dear Bradley on just one experience. But how many times can you contend with boogers on your avocados, really?! Maybe I'll give him another chance to redeem himself...maybe.

Stay tuned.

Hmmmmm?

_________________________________________________________

Letter to Bradley:

I know your name because it is on your nametag. You seem like a really nice young man, and I do regret having to write this letter, but there are a few things you need to know if you wish to become a truly excellent Woolworths check-out operator. Firstly let me say how lovely it was that you asked me how my day was and had I had a nice weekend. It wasn't so good, however, when you continued on without a breath to tell me exactly how 'seriously awesome' your Saturday night had been and how seedy you felt when you woke up on some stranger's verandah. Top marks to you though for dragging your sorry self to work!


While on the topic of dragging, it might be worth pointing out the benefits of tissues. While I understand that those boogers sure are bothersome up there, it is best to use a tissue to pick them out instead of the fingers that are handling my avocados. Yes, they are already green, but I quite like them sans DNA.

Those same fingers are probably best kept away from adjusting your crotch during my transaction. The three times I managed to cop an eyeful of movement was more than distracting and I had to shake my head at least twice to clear my vision. This was not pleasant. I am sure you have breaks - maybe use them to adjust yourself....in a bathroom. Woolworths also sell underwear...perhaps you may invest in some newer, more comfortable ones?

Last of all I would like to use this opportunity to educate you a little on feminine hygiene products. They are not dirty. You do not need to flinch, shudder or wipe your hands after scanning tampons. They are in a packet...in fact they came home cleaner than my avocados. Perhaps you can pretend they are beer - you seem to like beer.


I hope this letter may help you to better serve your customers. I fear that Woolworths will be unable to maintain their position as the Fresh Food People if you continue with the unseemly practices you are currently displaying. I look forward to watching you perform your duties as I scan my own groceries next week.


With thanks,


Kerryn Leworthy.

My New Year's Resolution...

...is to actually blog! Regularly. About scintillating and fascinating stuff.


I promise...

The big reveal....

That's right...I'm a Scrapbooking Memories Master for 2011! I am so excited to be able to let the proverbial cat out of the proverbial bag and share my news.

When I found out in September I was in my office at work. I had only been working full time for a month and was still finding my feet...when Kristy called and told me I was one of the Masters. I muffled a squeal and tore off up the hallway telling her I was peeing my pants...not very professional!

I have diligently held my secret until now and then yesterday when I could finally share my news, I was so snowed under at work, I completely forgot! But now it is all out in the open and I am thrilled :)

The amazing list of Masters for 2011 are:

Bridgette Hatton

Emma Allen


Fran Tynan


Kathleen Glossop


Kerryn Leworthy (that's me!)


Lauren Bell


Michelle Winston


Tara Scobie


Tatum Woodroffe


Tiff Sawyer

So many amazing and talented ladies to share the ride with! I love the magazine and I can't wait to see what the year brings :)

Hey! Remember me? I am swamped right now...drowning not waving...
I promise a proper update this weekend...surely...hopefully ;)

And because no post is complete without a picture...my new Facebook Profile pic. Angelic, yes? Don't be fooled! hehe

When the 15 year old offers to play lego with the six year old....

...You just know it's going to end badly...

I forgot to post these here last week. Should I be concerned about the teen's violent tendancies or just be pleased he's entertaining his brother? Quandry!

Cosmo Cricket

I was very pleasantly surprised to receive a comment telling me that my layout is featured on the Cosmo Cricket blog! You can have a look here :)How exciting! I love the DeLovely range of papers...so bright and funky.

Thanks so much Melissa for pointing it out!

Almost famous...

I very occasionally post my layouts to the Two Peas in a Bucket gallery. Very occasionally. This time it was more to test if my computer could upload to it as I have been having issues uploading things lately.

I uploaded three layouts yesterday and today I have two of them in the top three of all featured categories! Top 2 in Most Viewed, Top 2 in Most Liked and Numbers 1 and 3 in Most Bookmarked! Yikes! Maybe I should upload more often!

See how technically savvy I am to take a screenshot?..so savvy that you can see the 'how to take a screenshot' text window still opened in my screenshot *blush*.

I can so see myself randomly taking screenshots of pretty much everything now that I know how.

*In the time it has taken me to type this post, they are all now in the top 2!*

My husband is flying out to Thailand next week for work and I am very sad to be staying home this year. I am particularly sad to be missing out on the trek to Laos they are taking. I only spent a day there last year and am desperate to see more...maybe next year.

In any case, he will be gone, and I am on a one woman mission to declutter and purge. The house is really not too bad, but has some troubling hot spots since I started work full time.

Like clothes...they breed. I swear they tangle themselves together in the wee small hours and procreate. We have way too many clothes, even for a family of six. I can do with some brutal culling in all of the closets, especially now with all of the kids at school where they wear uniforms 5 days a week.

Connor lives his life in a Superhero costume when he isn't at school, so he should be the easiest. His closet contains mostly lycra! It's a serious fire hazard now that I think about it...

Now the Divine Miss M, she's another story. More shoes and handbags reside in her room than in mine. And that is not right. Time to revert to the natural order of things!

Now to don my cape (or apron) and get to it. No promises, but I'll try my best to take some photos and record my progress. I am quite excited to start getting things more organised and streamlined around here.

Wish me luck!

Tomorrow is the last day to vote for my Smile photo! It would be remiss of me to not give you another opportunity to vote for my top 100 entry in the national Smile with Centro photo competition because you could miss out on the $2000 voting prize!

What sort of friend would I be if I didn't plead with you to click on the link above and fill out the quick, simple voting form and help me win up to $5000? A bad friend, that's what!

Thanks for those who have voted...I really appreciate it. Here it is again in case you missed it the first three times ;)

I haven't shared any scrapping for a while and there's a very good reason for that...I just haven't done much! I have done a few things for classes and upcoming DT work, but little else. I have just started to get back into the swing of things by moving my little scrap nook from the garage into the house.

Sharing my scrapping space with a People Mover and a washing machine does little for one's creativity, let's be honest! Since I moved my things indoors, I have been much more motivated to create :)

I don't think I shared this layout I did for Little Scrapbook Shop a while back using Basic Grey's Oliver range.

Need some scrapping inspiration this weekend?

I created this layout for this month's Cybercrop at Little Scrapbook Shop which is happening this very weekend. Pop in here to check out my sketch and challenge. I also designed the poster above. Designing the Cybercrop posters is always lots of fun with Nic's unique and creative theme ideas :)

I have a few new layouts I can share very soon. In the mean time I have a load of domestic chores to catch upon while the man of the house plays lego. Germaine Greer would have a coronary...

Urban Angel

I borrowed some gorgeous wings from a friend the other day as they instantly screamed 'photo shoot' as soon as I laid eyes on them! I convinced Miss Mikaela to pose for me in a gorgeous little bushland area near our house.

I really like the way they turned out with the vintage summer edit. I might see if I can con one of the boys to go next. Yeah....good luck with that...

The voting opened today for the Smile With Centro Photo competition! Click on the link to take you to the voting page. It is fast and easy and you can win cash just for voting...why not!? Please vote for my photo...it's the last one in the gallery.
That has to be lucky, right?
Thanks :)
Here is is again in case you forget what it looks like ;)

Smile, I'm in the Top 100!

This Photo.....

....has been shortlisted as a top 100 finalist in the National Smile With Centro photography competition! I was a finalist last year in my local competition but this year have made the final top 100 entries!
Public voting opens on Monday for a $10,000 prize....wow, that is a lot of shoes :)
Stand by for shameless pleas for votes and some happy dancing :)

Free Retro Printable Shopping List

I have designed this free printable shopping list by request of this awesome lady.

You can download a copy of this A3 sized printable here. It is designed to be printed and laminated, making a cute little whiteboard to write your weekely shopping list on as you run out of something. I have created it as an A3 sized file but it can be printed smaller if you wish.

It is similar to the other free printables I have made in the past. Just in case you missed out on them the first time, here are the links below.

Download the Family Chore Chart Here.

Download the Menu Planner here

Download the Weekly Study Planner here.

* These printables are for personal use only and are not to be sold or reproduced for profit.

Layouts, LSBS and lots more

Actually, the 'lots more' bit is just work really. Lots and lots of work. I am loving my new job and feel like I am hitting my groove now that I am over a month in.

It helped to have had the chance to escape for a few days to the 4th Annual Little Scrapbook Shop Retreat a couple of weeks ago...what a fantastic weekend!

I managed to scrap quite a bit between, teaching, chatting and helping out around the place. It was the best retreat, seriously...so relaxing and fun with just enough naughtiness to make it hilarious!
I am sure I lost my uterus sometime during Belle's Ball...oh my! I will never look at rub-ons in quite the same way ;) And that's as much as I'll say about that...

I have even managed to have a few of my retreat layouts accepted for publication which is a great feeling...I haven't submitted anything for some time.

I was asked to teach at this year's retreat and chose the gorgeous Basic Grey Olivia collection for my class. I love this line and the class went really well...the ladies produced some amazing layouts.

Cath has the stunning new Prima lines instore right now and I managed to snaffle some at the retreat and have a play.

I also came home with some Basic Grey Wander papers and embellishments...so good for the little man in your life and perfect for travel pages.

This layout is one I did for a 45 minute challenge at the retreat. One layout completed in 3/4 of an hour...sure thing. That's what die cut papers are made for!

I got to use some of my strawberry photos on a double layout. Who could resist some October Afternoon with it's sweet strawberry diecuts! A simple, straightforward layout, this one :)

I love Studio Calico and their paper ranges. Ecclectic mixes of pattern and colour right up my alley.

Gorgeous new My Minds Eye ranges with glitter galore. We were all covered with the stuff!

One of the best Sassafrass ranges for some time. I love this gorgeous range with it's stunning colours and slightly understated patterns, compared to their usual stuff.

This layout is one I used to host my challenge at the Clayton's Retreat...the retreat for those who did not make it to retreat!

It's been fantastic to scrap again after a few weeks of very little. I am planning to pull out my supplies a little more often and have some crafty time to myself now that I am finding a better work/life/family balance....well here's hoping!

I also plan to spend some quality time with my new camera this weekend...can't wait to get better acquainted with my new baby.